Lekker: Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps

I haven't actually blogged in awhile because my fingers actually hurt too much to type. It's too cold. I just sat on my hands for a bit to warm them up to write this sentence, and now my butt is just cold. It was 20 degrees when I left the house this morning. My friend Tiny Bird sent me a text message yesterday saying: "I WANT TO BOP THIS COLD WEATHER ON THE HEAD. RAWR."

Winter, we are so done.

We live in DC, by the way, not planet Hoth. This is not acceptable, at least not without a Taun-Taun and a lightsaber (purple, please, with Anakin's handle).

ANYWAYS, today's recipe has nothing to do with the cold or being suitable for the cold or anything even vaguely cutely relating to the cold because there is no rhyme or reason to this blog or my life. I just really really wanted buffalo chicken, and I also really really want to not get fat, so I wrap it in lettuce instead of bread. When feeding my man-friends on football Sundays, though, it's always piled high on top of a toasted buttered Kaiser roll and served with heaps of bleu cheese and pickles on the side.

Buffalo Chicken Lettuce Wraps
serves 4

What You Need
4 skinless boneless chicken breasts (You can also do a mix of breasts and thighs if you're freaky like that concerned about it being too dry, but of course thigh meat has more fat than breast meat and it's all doused in sauce anyway.)
~1.5 bottles of buffalo wing sauce (Yeah I know this is a really inexact measurement, sorry. I always buy two bottles and use about 3/4 of each because I'm never convinced that just ONE brand can have the exact flavour I want. After years of experimenting I've decided that a 50/50 mix of Texas Pete's Extra Mild Buffalo Wing Sauce and Frank's Red Hot Wing Sauce in the classic Buffalo flavour is the perfect mixture.)
2 T butter, chopped into small pieces

To Serve:
Lettuce leaves of choice (Unless your choice is "iceberg" lettuce, because that stuff is a nutritionally empty waste of space on a plate--I recommend Romaine leaves, Boston lettuce, Butter lettuce, or Bibb lettuce. I used Bibb.) 
Bleu cheese dressing (Marie's Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing is the best of the bunch, free of MSG, but you can also make your own by stirring together some blue cheese crumbles and a wee bit of half-and-half, microwaving at 10-second interval until it becomes saucy to your liking!)
Peeled, diced cucumber for crunch (optional; I just really like having pickles with my traditional buffalo chicken sandwiches but didn't think that would be terribly delicious with lettuce, and since pickles ARE cucumbers, it's only logical...)

What You Do
1. Toss the chicken breasts into a slow cooker and dump the sauce on top, turning the chicken around so everything is well coated. Sprinkle the butter bits on top, cover and cook on High for 3-4 hours or on Low for 6-7 hours.

2. Done! Shred the chicken up with two forks and return to the slow cooker to soak up the leftover sauce (feel free to add more at this stage if it's not saucy enough for you) and warm back up. Serve piled on top of lettuce leaves with the condiments and additions of your choice. Done!

Lekker: Avgolemono

Avgo-what? AV-GO-LEMONO. I know, I still can't really say it right. Apparently you don't really pronounce the "g" as a "g", it's more like a "y" sound that exists in Greek. Since I do not actually know Greek, I'm sort of at a loss--but I'm pronouncing it "av-yo-lem-ONO" in my head.

I assume you've gathered by this point that this dish involves lemon and that would be correct. It's a traditional Greek soup consisting of chicken and rice (or orzo) in an egg-lemon broth. Yeah, yeah, I'm at it again with soups. LOOK! I'm trying to slim back down after the sheer overindulgence of the holidays, and soups and salads are the best way to do that. Deal with it. Plus, it's snowy and cold up here and I slipped on a patch of ice on Friday, falling and cracking my tailbone--so I needed some comfort.

Plus, I had some rotisserie chicken left over from my Thai Chicken Noodle Soup the other night, and ballin' on a budget means nothing goes to waste around here.

I had this again next-day with a small Greek salad and some crusty bread. Quiet, warm comfort at its finest.

Avgolemono
makes about 4 servings

What You Need
4 tablespoons butter or olive oil
1 small yellow onion, diced finely
1 leek, white and light green parts only, washed well and sliced down the middle, then sliced into thin half-moons
1/2 cup uncooked orzo or Arborio rice (I used orzo because it's what I had on hand, and I like it better than rice--in case you don't know, orzo is actually pasta in a small elongated shape similar to rice. It made an appearance in my Italian Lemon Chicken Orzo Soup, but I think the next time I make this dish I'll try rice.)
1/3 cup white wine (Totally optional and I highly doubt it's traditionally Greek, but if you know me at all of course I had a glass of white wine in hand while I was cooking--Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc, if you must know--so in it goes.)
5 cups of chicken broth (or stock, whatever) plus 1 cup water
2 cups shredded precooked chicken
3 eggs
4 tablespoons lemon juice, fresh squeezed if you have it (Cut it down to 3 tablespoons if you don't like things really lemony--but if you don't like lemon why the heck are you making this anyway???)
Salt 'n peppah, to taste

What You Do
1. Okidoke let's get this show on the road! In a large stock pot over medium heat, melt the first two tablespoons butter or oil. Throw in your leek and onion and cook for about 5 minutes until things start to get all golden and translucent and shit. This is about the time I throw the wine in too and cook it down until all the wine has evaporated and been absorbed.

Now, you kinda gotta multi-task here because you have to cook the orzo at the same time, too. In a separate pot, melt the other two tablespoons of butter/oil over medium heat and throw in the orzo. WHAT?! Isn't it going to burn? No, calm your jets guys. Cooking raw orzo over medium heat in butter or oil toasts it, giving it a beautiful golden colour and nutty, toasted flavour. (Works for rice too.) This is an extra step and of course you don't have to do it, you can just toss the orzo and water in a pot and boil away--but I do it because it's easy and delicious. But yeah, once you're all nicely toasted (and the orzo is too, I suppose) pour in enough water to cover well and let boil for about 9 minutes to al dente perfection.

Some say you can just throw the raw orzo into the soup and let it cook in the broth. I don't like doing this, because pasta releases starch into the water it cooks in and I don't like that starch mucking up my silky perfect broth.

2. Shit, where were we? Oh, right. OK so the orzo is cooking away in the small pot and your onions and leeks have cooked away with the wine in the big pot. Now throw in the chicken broth and water and the shredded cooked chicken and let that simmer away gently. When the orzo is done, drain it and add to the big pot.

3. Now's the time to make the egg-lemon part. This is the only vaguely tricky part, but if you can do two things at once (whisk with one hand and pour with the other) you'll be fine. We'll be tempering the eggs--which means warming them up/cooking them gently before adding it to the hot broth so that they don't just scramble like Egg Drop Soup. That's ugly and gross. Do you want stringy threads of scrambled eggs in your soup? No, so pay attention!

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk the three eggs together until frothy. One tablespoon at a time, whisk in the lemon juice until well incorporated. It should look frothy and creamy at this stage and a light yellow colour. Now with one hand, keep whisking steadily. With the other, slowly add in one ladleful of hot broth from the big pot. Do this two to three more times. Ta-dah! You've successfully tempered eggs. Now turn OFF the stove, and slowly pour THAT mixture into the big pot, whisking away. You're done.

DO NOT let it boil once you've added the egg/lemon mixture. It'll break and you'll get Egg Drop Soup. Be gentle when you reheat this the next day, too. Microwave on half power and stir often.

Enjoy, beauties, and dream of the warm and sunny Greek isles amidst all this chilly nonsense.

Lekker: Thai Chicken Noodle Soup

Yikes...according to Blogger, it's been almost a month and a half since I last blogged here! Shame on me, especially since I was bound and determined to make sure that this blog, THIS ONE, did not fall by the wayside like so many others. But, there's also something to be said for writing simply for the joy of it, not because I have to. This *is* just a hobby, after all!

It's not that I haven't been writing. In fact, in December I finally published an extremely personal article that's been in the works for over a year. It was a moment of deep personal pride for me, because it is not a happy story, although it has a happy ending. It's not about food. It's about the time when I lost my love for food--when I lost my love for everything--because I was struggling my way through a dark depression and very much alone. No, it is not a happy story. However, since I am on the "other side" of depression I believe it is a subject that we need to talk about more, to offer help and support to those still struggling and to strip away the stigma of this "disease". So many of us will, at one point or another in our lives, become acquainted with the demon. You can read it here, if you are so inclined.

Moving on to happier things, I've been cooking too! Tonight's recipe was inspired by the snow currently softly falling outside my window. (Doesn't snow make just the loveliest, soft sound when it hits the ground?) After all my holiday over-indulgence, I was craving something clean and crisp, something lean, and something absolutely steaming hot. A Thai noodle soup came to mind. Give it a shot, if you've got some cold weather coming your way!

Voila! Serve topped with a soft or hard boiled egg for extra protein.

Thai Chicken Noodle Soup

(Makes a GIANT VAT--maybe 6-8 servings? Freeze half for when you're sick and don't want to cook.)

What You Need

2 tablespoons butter, vegetable oil or coconut oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 red bell pepper, sliced into thin matchsticks

1 large or 2 medium carrots, peeled and sliced into thin matchsticks (I used a large handful of baby carrots)

2 cups of shredded cooked chicken (which equated to one full breast and both legs of a small rotisserie chicken, for me, because I am lazy and also live to devour the skin of rotisserie chicken)

2 32-ounce cartons of Swanson Thai Ginger Flavor Infused Broth

Approximately 4-6 cups of water, or to taste

0.5 ounce package of dried mixed mushrooms (I used the Ponderosa Mushrooms brand, available in a small box by all the other mushrooms in the supermarket) 

1 tablespoon fish sauce (found in the Asian foods aisle)

1 small handful of Thai rice noodles (also in the Asian foods aisle)

5-6 scallions/green onions, sliced into thin rings

1 large handful of cilantro leaves, chopped roughly

Juice of 1/2 a fresh squeezed lime

1 hard or soft boiled egg per person, for serving: optional, but delicious

What You Do

1. In a large stockpot, melt the butter or oil of your choice and saute the garlic over low heat until fragrant. Add the carrots and saute for 2-3 minutes, then add the bell pepper and saute for another 3ish minutes. I usually find that in Thai soups, the vegetables aren't cooked through and still contain a nice fresh bite, so you don't want them to go too soft.

2. Add the broth, the shredded chicken, the fish sauce and about 4 cups of water (you can add more later if you want more liquid, or if you find the flavour of the broth too strong for you) and bring the soup to a boil. As soon as it comes to a boil, add the noodles, mushrooms, scallions, cilantro, and lime and turn OFF the heat. Thai rice noodles are awesome! You just need to drop them into boiling water and in about 7-8 minutes, they'll soften and rehydrate and be cooked. Brilliant. Same with the dried mushrooms--they just need a few minutes in hot liquid to rehydrate. Let the soup sit covered for about 8-10 minutes, perhaps while you prepare the eggs.

To make a hard boiled egg: gently pierce the large end of the egg with an egg piercer, if you've got it. Place into a small pot filled with water. Cover and bring to a boil. As soon as it boils, start the timer for one minute. After one minute of boiling, remove the pot from the heat and let sit, covered, for 12 minutes. Then shock the eggs by telling them you're pregnant dumping them into ice water to stop the cooking process. To get a soft boiled egg, all you need to do is cut the "rest" time from 12 minutes to only 3-4.

I found myself wishing there were even more vegetables in this soup, so next time I think I'll add some finely sliced baby bok choy right at the end.


Since I've still got most of a rotisserie chicken in the fridge and more cold weather coming (we'll be enjoying a low of 7 on Monday...) I think I'll give the traditional Greek soup Avgolemono a shot this weekend. Stay warm, y'all. Bourbon helps.

Lekker: Italian Lemon Chicken Orzo Soup

Ya know, I really didn't expect to come home from a blissful vacation on the beaches of Florida this past weekend to all sorts of upheaval at work, a government shutdown, and..bronchitis. What is UP with everything?! GTFO, moon cycles or universe or polar tides or whatever the hell else is causing all of this nonsense.

Protip: Wine helps. I recommend Monkey Bay Sauvignon Blanc. TRUST ME, I am a pro at this by now. And if you're furloughed, you know that means some good ol' Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill baby!

So, given that I have absolutely zero regard for my personal health (apparently) what was a cold last week has turned into a wonderfully throaty cough/bronchitis. Hey, I gave it a try with vitamin C and echinacea and fluids and zinc and this that and the other thing, and it didn't work, so...wine. Also, soup! Yes, fall is sort of here (it's still 87 degrees but the leaves are turning orange so I don't know WHAT is going on. Goes back to that crazy moon/universe/tide thing, I think, although if you believe my housemate it's BECAUSE OBAMA!) so it's soup season. Combined with being sick? Here's today's Lekker Recipe: Italian Lemon Chicken Orzo Soup.

I was actually inspired to create this by my best friend Lion, who is also, entirely coincidentally, sick with the same thing. I turn into a full-on mother hen when people I care about are sick, so I wondered about what I would make for him. What would make him feel better, and comforted and satisfied, but still be healthful enough to fight the illness, and perhaps even pay homage to his heritage?

Italian Lemon Chicken Orzo Soup, a recipe dreamed up entirely by me--and believe me, it's been a loooong time since I've been so inspired. 

P.S. As good as my motives may have been, I'm actually totally horrible because he didn't get any of this stuff. The post office did not take kindly to my request to ship a quart of soup 1000 miles. Jerks.  Sorry, Lion Man. Next time.

Italian Lemon Chicken Orzo Soup
makes a metric shit ton--I obviously I thought I was going to be sick for a long time. I ate a bowl for dinner, froze half, and still have two more servings left for lunch tomorrow. It freezes great, so you may as well make the whole batch, but you can halve it too.

What You Need
1 rotisserie chicken (just the 2 breasts really unless you want more) or ~2 chicken breasts, otherwise cooked and shredded (I made my life easy and picked up a pre-cooked delicious chicken from the store because I hate cooking whole chicken breasts; plus, I get to eat the wings and rip off the skin and devour that as soon as I get home as a pre-cooking snack and that is LITERALLY the best part) 
1 leek, white and light green parts only, washed thoroughly (they have a lot of grit in them, so slice it off at the part where it gets tough and dark green and wash the bottom half well)
1 14.5 ounce can artichoke hearts in water (if they come already quartered, just slice them up a bit further nicely; if they're whole, then quarter and slice)
3 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
6-8 cups chicken broth or stock (I use the Knorr Homestyle Stock jelly-type things since I think they taste the best) 
3 large handfuls chopped Swiss chard (this stuff is great, I love it! It's like the silky older cousin to spinach; bitter when raw but utterly smooth and delicious in soups. I used the Kaleidoscope Chard from Trader Joe's here which is pre-washed and cut, but if you can find regular fresh raw chard that's great too. Just wash the leaves thoroughly, fold each leaf in half and slice out the tough inner stem, and slice the leaves into thin ribbons.)
2 large handfuls fresh baby spinach
1/2  bunch parsley, washed and chopped
1/2 cup dry orzo (Don't know orzo? You're missing out. It's a pasta shaped like an extra-large grain of rice with a GREAT mouthfeel used in Greek and Italian cooking. Mouthfeel means how it feels in your mouth. Giggity.)
olive oil, for frying
juice & zest of 1 lemon

I know it seems like a lot, but this is really super easy and hardly takes 30 minutes to put together. Ready? OK!

What You Do
1. In a small pot over medium-high heat, get some water boiling with salt so you can cook the orzo. I always cook pasta separate from the soup it's going into because I don't like the starch it releases during cooking to muddy up the broth of my soup. You want the orzo to be just slightly undercooked, because it's going to finish in the soup. I cook mine for 7 minutes flat, drain, and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process and wash off excess starch.

2. While the water is boiling, shred up your chicken breasts with your fingers, or two forks if you want to pretend to be civilized (you're not fooling anyone), and slice up your leeks and artichokes as well. Leeks are like onions, but more complex in flavour and nutrition. Mince or crush the garlic, too.

3. In a large stockpot over medium heat, drizzle in some olive oil and throw the leeks and artichokes in to get them cooking with a bit of freshly ground black pepper. I saute them for about 5 minutes, just to get a bit of browning going on. Toss in the garlic and Italian seasoning and cook for 2 minutes more. Then add your stock and bring to a simmer.

4. Now's where it gets really easy! (Was it really that hard thus far? Nah, just a longer ingredient list.) Throw in your shredded chicken and let it simmer all together for 5 minutes. The spinach, chard and parsley take hardly any time at all, which is why you want to throw them in...now. Add the orzo now too, so it can finish cooking.  Now's the time to adjust the broth, adding a little more if you like your soups more watery like I do. Cook for about 5-6 more minutes.

5. Turn the heat off and add the zest* of one lemon and the juice of said lemon (through a strainer, if you want to avoid pulp and seeds in your soup). Taste and add salt if necessary. (A note: the chicken stock is probably pretty salty. However, I like salty things, and when I'm sick I tend to err on the side of more salt because it makes me drink more, which is important when you're sick. Capeche? It's why they give people in hospital that terribly salty chicken broth--to get them to absorb more fluids.) I always like to stir in a good glug or three of olive oil to finish a soup, too.

Done! Molto Italiano, no? Ah, io penso di essere stato un Mama italiano in un'altra vita!

Hope this banishes your sniffles, coughs and blues as much as it did mine. Ciao, bello. 

*I have a mircofine zester that I use for such purposes. If you don't have one, you can get away with the tiniest holes on a cheese grater as long as you don't get too much of the white pith mixed in there with the yellow skin, because that shit's bitter.