Liquor: Milk Tart

Today I'm writing about my all-time favourite dessert cocktail, one that is incredibly simple yet indulgent and will absolutely meet your sweet tooth's craving. It's called a Milk Tart and I learned how to make it from my Bonus Dad, Harry Brindley.

I'm reprinting his recipe with permission though you can view the original entry for a much bigger serving size here on his blog slappHappe, a charming collection of the occasionally odd ramblings of his mind. The actual recipe comes from his brother Alfie, a joyous man who sadly passed away several years ago.

("What's a Bonus Dad?" A Bonus Dad is one I got for free that gives me life advice but didn't have to pay for my college; incidentally he made an excellent choice in spouse--or perhaps she in him!--and I got an incredible Bonus Mom too by the name of Carolyn. My parents befriended them years before I was even born and I grew up thinking of them as family. I consider myself very lucky to have gotten two amazing sets of parents instead of just one.)

Harry surveying his backyard kingdom and charring off the Weber in preparation for that evening's braai; he and Carolyn have since moved across the country and I miss them terribly.

Put this one on your list for the next time you want to drink your dessert. Harry tells me it's a classic South African road side concoction often mixed up by motorbikers travelling the countryside--because nothing says excellent idea like 'motorbikes' and 'vodka'!

(Don't do that, idiots, do I really have to put a disclaimer?)

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MILK TART
makes 1 drink

WHAT YOU NEED
1.5 to 2 ounces plain vodka depending on how strong you like it, I'm not here to tell you what to do with your life, ya feel?
1 ounce sweetened condensed milk
Ice--yes, this one needs to be served on the rocks!
Optional: a drop or two of vanilla essence; half an ounce of espresso; a stick of cinnamon for serving--or a combination of all three. Go nuts!

WHAT YOU DO
1. I like to keep it super simple and just throw everything into a small mason jar, screw on the lid, shake, and enjoy. Dessert is served. The fact that I drank this in the middle of the day today is meaningless.

Lekker: Charred Romaine & Shrimp Salad

Ey yo! Welcome back. First things first:

So now that I've properly explained why I've been a bit MIA, I have a recipe for you!

I made this Charred Romaine & Shrimp Salad yesterday for my Sunday evening dinner because up here in New York for the summer, Sunday ALWAYS mean grilling--and lucky for me the person I'm currently tongue kissing is also a BOMB grillmaster, so I'm making good use of his talents.

I guess you could do this all on the stove in a hot cast iron skillet if you don't have a grill, but by all means give it a shot outside if you can. Nothing says summer like throwing EVERYTHING YOU OWN onto the grill, basically.

If you haven't already been charring your Romaine lettuce now's the time to give it a try (I am sorry, I know I sound like a pretentious food snob when I say that but OMFG you must must try it), but what really adds depth to this summery salad is cutting that richness with a few leaves of the fresh raw stuff to give it some crunch.

Feel free to omit the tomatoes if you want; I just think it's sacrilege to not include them in a summer salad for all their juiciness and gorgeous colour when they're in season. Oh, and the extra brilliant part of this salad is that you don't even need up whip up a separate dressing: the olive oil and lemon juice takes care of that in beautiful simplicity. 

Here we go punks!

P.S. That drink's one of my clean summer faves: muddled fresh mint leaves and peeled cucumber chunks topped with ice, vodka, and Poland Spring lemon-lime seltzer. Refreshing, low-cal, and the perfectly clean accompaniment for a rich salad!

CHARRED ROMAINE & SHRIMP SALAD
serves 2

WHAT YOU NEED
3 whole small-to-medium sized Romaine hearts
24 small-to-medium sized cleaned raw shrimp, tails left on, threaded onto wooden skewers (I was able to find these at my supermarket already assembled for only $2 a skewer)
2 ears of corn, shucked and wiped of silk
1 ripe avocado, diced
1 large tomato, diced (optional, I GUESS)
6 slices bacon, more if you are a needlessly indulgent sod
2 fresh lemons
Olive oil for brushing
Salt & pepper to taste

WHAT YOU DO
1. Preheat your grill to medium heat. Lightly oil the ears of corn and season with salt and pepper. Toss those two on the grill over the area of highest/most direct heat to get a good char on them. Now's the time to add your bacon strips directly onto the grill as well, to cook to your desired level of crispiness.

2. While that shit gets going gently brush your shrimp with olive oil on each side so they don't stick to the grill, and then squeeze the juice of 1 lemon over them and season with S & P. Grill for about 2 minutes a side or until light pink and cooked throughout.

3. While your shrimp are grilling, slice 2 of the 3 Romaine hearts in half lengthwise straight down the middle, making sure to keep the end bulb intact. Trim off any browned edges and gently dust off any visible dirt or grit. Brush the cut sides with olive oil and season with S & P. These we'll grill. If the tiny inner leaves are having trouble staying put use a toothpick to stab it all together, because when all else fails be violent in the kitchen. Wash and chop about 6 leaves of the third head--this will be your raw component.

4. Once your shrimp are removed from the grill, crank it up to high heat and add the Romaine lettuce heads cut side down. Grill over high heat for about 2-3 minutes or until you've got a nice char and the leaves have slightly wilted. Remove from heat.

4. Roughly chop the charred Romaine and toss with the raw chopped leaves, avocado, tomatoes, whole shrimp, diced bacon, and roasted corn kernels you've sheared from the cob. Squeeze the juice of the other lemon over the whole thing and call it a day--the olive oil you've used to grill half the ingredients will mingle with the lemon juice to create a simple dressing that lets the other seasonal ingredients shine. Buon appetito!

Follow us on Instagram at @tigrita_thelittletiger for more food pics and general frivolity, and on Twitter at @LekkerLiquor.

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Lagniappe: Seltzer Swingin' Back Around

For the first time in my 24 years, I am finally, suddenly, very bored of water.

Water is great! Growing up I could never understand my friends who hated it and guzzled soda or fruit juice instead. Water. Is. Delicious. But, I'm bored by my plain old personality-free friend.

Fortunately my temporary boredom with the stuff seems to be coinciding with a burgeoning new food trend: the resurgence of seltzer as the go-to beverage of choice for those wanting something a bit more interesting than water but not laden with the sugar and artificial colors of soda.

Yes! Seltzer! That old fashioned thing! In the last few years new varieties have popped onto the market with flavours ranging from classics like lemon lime and orange to fancy schmancy new stuff like pomegranate-whatever, toasted coconut creme and melon-something. SAUCY.

Now let's just be clear here: seltzer water is seltzer water. It's water that has had science-y things done to it that add bubbles. Voila! Flavouring is now often added as well, and it's an inexpensive (cheaper than mineral water and soda) option.

It's not mineral water (which is naturally carbonated water from springs that presumably has minerals but tastes like garbage), or club soda (basically the same as mineral water except the mineral components aren't natural and are instead artificially added), or tonic water (which is a whole different ballgame; usually very sweet and with added quinine; you probably know it as the bangin' companion to gin). It's just seltzer water.

So if you're looking to cut down on your crippling soda addiction--which you should, not only because restaurants and countries around the world are beginning to tax the shit out of it but because it's rubbish and will probably kill you--or you're just bored like me and looking for more interesting ways to stay hydrated this summer without any guilt, give seltzer a shot.

If you're lucky enough to own a SodaStream, then you're set without any of these. It's certainly on my wish list, but until then, here are my suggestions:

• I'm hooked on the lemon-lime flavour from Poland Springs; it's cheap and comes in cans so the freshness lasts longer. It's *packed* with bubbles, which is my favourite part.
   
• Polar offers larger bottles of much more exotic flavours; they're slightly harder to find and I don't like the bigger size because they lose carbonation more quickly, but the flavours are interesting and fun to try.
   
• If you prefer less powerful carbonation with just a hint of flavour, try the Nestle Pure Life line for more of a gentle fizz.
   
• LaCroix is of course a classic, but the 80's era acid-washed cans look tacky as hell and the flavour is too mild for my tastes.

Are you on the seltzer train too? If so what are some new brands or flavours I should try?