Liquor: Cucumber Mint Gin

Back again with the booze! Yeeeaaahhhhh....I've been drinking my dinner most nights this week but also, ALSO! I'm moving back to Florida in three weeks and I need to eat my way out of the leftovers in the freezer, because evidently there is always some part of my mind that assumes that the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner, and god forbid I don't have enough gumbo and Italian Lemon Chicken and Orzo Soup on hand to get through it all.

In the meantime, I'm using GIN to get through all of THIS!

This past week my dearest Lilypad regaled me with a description of a drink she enjoyed in DC, something with cucumber and mint and gin. Since I have recently reignited my love affair with gin, I couldn't wait to reproduce it. I suppose this would be more apropos for all my Florida friends who are basking in the warmth of the sun and sand (SOON! Soon I will be with you, my people!) because it's light and utterly refreshing and delicious. Here, here it's just snow. Snow, snow, snow, and more forking snow, endless white bullshit. I'm back to being angry about winter.

In the meantime, mix this up and pretend you're relaxing on a warm porch swing somewhere in the South. That's what I'm doing. Cheers!

In correlation with yesterday's highly educational blog post on how to mix drinks when you are broke, this is a drink served without ice, and therefore SHOULD be in a stemmed glass. But, you can totally serve this with ice, if you want to. If it's actually warm enough to warrant a need for ice, where you are. (PS, GFY.)

Cucumber Mint Martini
serves 1

 What You Need
~3 inches cucumber, peeled and diced
2 fresh mint leaves
1/4 of a lime
2 ounces gin (I'm currently experimenting with Plymouth)
1 dash bitters (optional)
tonic water, to top off

What You Do
1. Throw your diced cucumber in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Put the mint leaves in your hand, and clap. (This releases some of the fragrance and essential oils and also makes you look cool.) Add them to the shaker along with the juice of 1/4 of a lime, and the bitters. Muddle really really really well with a muddler or a wooden spoon. Add the gin and tons of ice and shake hard for 30 seconds. Strain into a cocktail glass and top off with tonic water (you'll want a bit of that sweetness to round it out.) Serve with a fresh cucumber garnish.

Lekker: Spicy Claussen Knock-Off Pickles

A few weeks ago I attempted pickles for the first time and wound up with some nice (though a little bit too sweet for me) Bread and Butter Pickles. As I raved in that post, though, Claussen Pickles are my absolute favourite because since they are cold brined with no cooking, they are crisp and crunchy unlike the usual sad floppy pickle. (No one likes a floppy pickle, guys.)

I really wanted to figure out how to recreate those at home and looked online for some recipes, but ultimately decided to just wing it on my own. Some people online had trouble with mold, or with "fuzz" appearing at the top of the pickles. My Bonus Dad Harry warned me that he'd heard that garlic goes blue/green when put into vinegar raw, but I didn't have that problem either. It was just easy, and great!

Now, I will say--these are SPICY. These are not like the classic Claussen Dills. Tonight I'm going to change up the vinegar/water ratio (because even for me it was just a tiny bit too vinegar-y, though my girlfriends said they were really good) and tone it down on the red pepper to see if I can get a little bit closer to perfection. That's why I consider this recipe to be a "working recipe", because I will update it as I refine. If you like spicy, though, you will LOVE these--housemate TB absolutely raved, saying he can never find a pickle in the store that is as spicy and crispy as he likes.

I was happy with the way these turned out--they had the crisp crunch I was looking for and I don't see any reason why I would hot brine ever again.

Here we go!

 Pretty pickles in a pretty jar!

Spicy Claussen Knock-Off Pickles (Working Recipe)

What You Need
1 package small pickling cucumbers (these come in packs of six, usually, in a little Styrofoam carton covered in cling wrap)
1 cup white distilled vinegar
1 cup filtered water
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes 
1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon mustard seed
3-4 garlic cloves, minced roughly
1 handful fresh dill, trimmed of stems (I bought one of those tiny plastic containers of dill in the fresh herb section of the store)

What You Do
1. Wash your cucumbers well and dry. Cut off the stem ends and slice them into spears, then follow the directions for salting them as found in step 1 of the Bread & Butter Pickles recipe. Same concept--we're trying to draw out some of the water to make a crisper pickle.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together the vinegar, water and spices. No heating required!

 Oh, I guess I threw my garlic in there too during this step. Whatever. It isn't rocket surgery peeps.

3. You'll need a large Ball jar or other type of jar with a tight fitting seal for these pickles. I keep forgetting to look what size my jars are because I'm disorganized and have the memory capacity of goldfish. If your 15 minutes of "salting" time for the cukes are up, you can pat them dry nicely with a paper towel and stuff them into the jar along with the minced garlic and the dill. You'll want them to have a LITTLE bit of room to move around so that you can shake up the jar every day.

4. Pour in the brine. For me, I discovered that I was about 2 tablespoons too short of brine because you really want them to be covered completely, so I added some brine from the original Claussen Pickles that I had in my fridge and voila! Put the lid on and tuck them in the fridge for a week. Every day I gave the jar a good shake and turned it upside down to make sure the garlic cloves and spices got nicely distributed.

That's it! My friend Tiny Bird exclaimed "I didn't know you could make your own pickles!" when she tasted them and I didn't know until recently, either, but this is so easy it's stupid. Once I can get this recipe down to my version of perfection I'll ever need to buy pickles again. Not that pickles are, like, insanely expensive or something--I am not making my life easier or cheaper by doing this, but...it's FUN!

This is what they looked like after a week in the fridge. Basically the same, but not so white in color.

Lekker: Bread & Butter Pickles

There are lots of reasons why I love to cook, to bake, and to futz around in the kitchen in general.

One is that I love to engage my mind by expanding my skill set and learning new things about flavour combination, technique, and food chemistry.

Two is that I like having a hobby that is productive of something, where I have something to show for it at the end of the day. Creating something (a dish) out of nothing (just "ingredients") to share with others is fulfilling, to me anyway.

Over the weekend I had some time to kill on a gloomy Sunday afternoon and a brand new mandolin that I was just itching to use, so I decided to refer to Reason #1 by attempting homemade pickles for the first time. I like these low-investment experiments because even if I screw it all up, all I've lost is a cucumber and some vinegar, so no tears shed. (Pshh, as if.) Plus, I *LOVE* pickles. Claussen Dill Spears are my all-time favourite; you find them in the refrigerated section because they're not hot brined like most pickles (and this recipe is) so they are suuuuper crunchy and bright and sharp in flavour. I've always asserted that these pickles are the best appetite suppressant out there. I don't know if it's the acidity of the vinegar or what, but whenever I'm feeling like I want to snack for no reason I just chomp on a few of those and I'm satisfied.

This recipe is not for those kind of pickles. Sorry to disappoint after all that raving, but I have no clue how to make those. Blame it on my ADD, baby. THIS recipe, however, is for a basic bread-and-butter type pickle that goes well on sammiches and could be further processed into a BOMB sweet relish. Up to you. You don't need to have a mandolin to make this, as long as you've got a steady hand with a knife and a good eye for making even slices. I, however, find using the mandolin very peaceful and way too much fun to the point that now I'm just looking around my kitchen for things I can slice, julienne, or crinkle cut. (But not my hand; I managed to slice off part of my finger by accident by getting too enthusiastic and misjudging how much room was left between the cucumber and my digits. Oh well. Respawn!)

Don't those feathery fronds looks just so pretty floating around in there? Note how I did not stuff my jar properly. Lesson learned for next time. 

Bread and Butter Pickles

What You Need
1 large English cucumber (those are the long skinny ones in shrink wrap)
2 cups distilled white vinegar
1 cup white granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon mustard seed
1/2 teaspoon celery seed
1/8 teaspoon turmeric (sidebar: this spice is a real superfood; sneak it in wherever you can)
1 bunch dill fronds, about 1.5 cups

Righty-o then, here we go.

What You Do
1. First thing to do is prep the veggies. Slice up the cucumbers into pickle-sized slices, whatever that means to you. On a baking sheet lined with paper towels, sprinkle down a layer of salt. Lay the cucumbers down and sprinkle more salt on top. Let sit for about 15 minutes to draw out some of the moisture, then press down with another layer of paper towels to pat them dry.

2. While the cucumbers are sweating it out like a whore in church, you can mix up the brine. In a medium saucepot over medium heat, combine all the other ingredients except the dill fronds and bring to a boil so that the sugar dissolves completely.

3. Stuff your cucumbers into a large glass jar and layer the dill fronds amongst them. I didn't use enough for this batch as you can see so definitely add more since the taste really gets mellowed out by the brine.

Really, stuff the jar full because they'll float and move around and you'll suddenly wind up with more space that you expected.

4. Once the brine comes to a boil, pour it slowly and carefully into the jar. It should come all the way to the top of the jar without much brine left over. If you are panicky about not having enough brine, add another cup of vinegar and another 1/2 cup of sugar in step 2. But really, these are just pickles, there is no reason to get panicky. Seal the jar and stick it in the fridge to...well...pickle! After 24 hours you're good to go. Nom nom.

So like I said, if you want to take it a step further you can drain the pickles and chop them into relish. These got the green light from both housemate TB and I as-is, though I do prefer a less sweet pickle and will therefore continue to tweak this recipe. I'm also going to attempt cold brining to see if I can replicate the crispness of my beloved Claussen Dill Pickles.

Liquor: Pimm's Cup

I love brunch, and I love day drinking, so it should be a surprise to no one that I love morning cocktails. There's just something about a light drink in the lazy morning that is the epitome of complete weekend indulgence and relaxation. I've been warned that I will find myself swept up in the melee of soccermomhood before I know it (SCARY!) so I'm making a good effort to enjoy this kind of life while I can.

Mimosas will always be my favourite and the go-to classic for most places, although my dear friend and often brunch partner Lilypad always goes for the gold with a Bloody Mary. This cocktail, though, is a wonderful alternative that many Americans aren't aware of: the Pimm's Cup. It's actually a very old cocktail that was historically enjoyed by the colonists (in fact I first discovered it on a fall trip to Colonial Williamsburg a few years ago) and by their erstwhile compatriots back in Britain for eons before that. The sweet, utterly refreshing taste is the perfect way to wake up on a beautiful lazy Sunday, but in fact you can drink it at any time of day, really, since the alcohol content is only 25%. Hell, you can throw it in a tumbler and call it iced tea if you want--don't let those other soccer moms judge you!

Pimm's Cup
makes 1 bomb-ass wake up cocktail. Sunflowers optional.

What You Need
Pimm's liqueur
Sprite or 7-Up
Sliced cucumber, for garnish (this is NOT optional!!!)

What You Do
Stack a tall glass with ice, and fill with Pimm's about a third of the way. Top off with Sprite or 7-Up, add a cucumber slice or two and one on the rim for garnish, and you're golden.

Seriously, the cucumber slice is not optional. The point of including one on the rim is so that every time you tip the glass up to take a sip, your nose takes a whiff of the cuke as an accompaniment to the flavours of the liqueur. There is science behind garnishes, people!

Lekker: Crispity Crunchity Cuke Salad

This isn't a "real" recipe. This is just one of my favourite salads of all time, one I grew up with and learned at my Mom's elbow and was inspired to eat for dinner last night as a way to get more of my delicious homemade feta cheese into my mouth (recipe coming soon).

I was looking forward to this salad all day; it's so crunchy and refreshing and light and just what I wanted after a cathartic run. Also I'm single and busy, so make no mistake I'm not making full fancy meals for myself every night. I grabbed an English cucumber from Trader's Joes and my currently-preferred olive oil (100% cold pressed, 100% organic from Spain and only $5.99 at TJ's) on my way home from work, thinking I'd use the gorgeous vine-ripened tomatoes I'd pick up from the store only a couple of days ago. WRONG! They were, already, a rotten soggy mouldy mess. I don't deal with disappointment well, so I had a beer. Then, PING! I thought to check out in the garden. My housemate TB had told me that our current tomato cycle was over, but I wandered out there anyway and I found more than enough gorgeous, bright red, PERFECT Roma tomatoes waiting to go into my salad.

I know I'm lucky. Not everyone has these luxuries and I'm well aware of my fortune in TB.

Crispity Crunchity Cuke Salad

makes 1 large salad for a really hungry chick

What You Need

1 English cucumber, peeled (it's the long slim one in the plastic wrap in the grocery store; I like it because I think it's crunchier than the traditional cucumbers, but obviously use whatever you like, this is not Nazi Cucumber)

a handful of Roma tomatoes or any other kind you like, in proportion to the amount of cucumber

feta cheese, same in proportion

olive oil

lemon juice (fresh squeezed or bottled, whatever you have)

S&P

What You Do

It's a salad with like 3 ingredients, how complicated do you think this is? Dice up the cucumber and tomatoes into cute little bite sized pieces. Toss it with enough crumbled feta cheese until you're satisfied. Dress it lightly with equal parts olive oil and lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste and stick it in the fridge to marinate for 15 minutes while you drink another beer and pat yourself on the back for making a salad. Nom.

Sometimes, GOOD doesn't have to mean complicated.

You can see I added some diced kalamata olives here because I wanted more salinity since my cheese was much milder than I'm used to. If you're using store-bought feta cheese I would leave the olives out, because that's a LOT of salt, and bloat works for no one.