Lekker: Cheesy Polenta & Collard Greens

Ey yo! Long time no see!

Being back on that college grind means my entire diet has basically been whittled down to the "cheap and healthy" choices of 1) salad and 2) eggs on toast.

That's it.

When I go home and visit my Dad on the weekends, I get crazy and eat some chicken, and drink a beer. It is like a madhouse up in here, y'all.

HOWEVER, this weekend I got the inordinate thrill of actually--gasp--COOKING A MEAL. And it was grand, because I discovered the joys of polenta a few months ago and it is absolutely my new favourite comfort food. In my highly unhumble opinion it's pretty much on par with mashed potatoes when done right, and I think it's the cheesiness that does it.

Polenta is historically a peasant's dish from back in Ye Olde Long Ass Time Ago (around the 16th century if you want to get technical), because essentially it's just cornmeal boiled with water into a porridge. Gruel.

Yeah that's right. I'm teaching you how to make gruel, you filthy Roman slave. 

For the rest of this post, you may envision me this way. Triple bonus points if you actually know who this is.

Anyway, back on track.

A quirk of polenta is that it has a very short "plate life", just FYI. It can sort of gum up fairly quickly, so if you're adding it to part of another meal you want to make sure you've got everything else ready to go before the polenta is finished. It also doesn't reheat really well so don't make more than you need, BUT if you do, next-day polenta can be cut into pieces and either fried or grilled and is REALLY delicious that way.

Don't be put off by that. Don't be lazy. 

Oh, and one last thing--since polenta is a starch you can pair it with just about anything your heart desires, but I was craving a Southern feel (and bacon was on sale, because there is a God) so I went ahead and mixed up a batch of my Bacon Braised Collard Greens to put on top. And then, of course, a crown of poached egg at the summit of this deliciousness, because if it CAN be topped with an egg, I will do it.

CHEESY POLENTA
serves about 4 Roman slaves if they are skinny, or 2 Roman Slave Lords if you want a bit of leftovers
 

WHAT YOU NEED

• 3/4 cup fine yellow cornmeal
• 2 cups chicken broth or stock
• 1 cup dry white wine (not a sweet one like Moscato or Riesling)
• 3/4 cup grated sharp white cheddar (Cabot is the shit. Like, bar none the best non-specialty cheddar you can find at the grocery store, IMO.)
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• fresh cracked pepper
   

WHAT YOU DO

1. It's really easy. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, bring the broth and wine to a rapid simmer. Let simmer for about 6-8 minutes to let the alcohol in the wine cook off. Then slowly sprinkle in the cornmeal, paprika, and a bit of pepper, whisking constantly to avoid any lumps. It'll thicken up immediately and look like bubbling lava. Yummy! Turn the heat down to low, cover, and simmer gently for 15 minutes, stirring often.

2. It should only take about 15 minutes to cook, so at this point stir in the cheese until it's nice and melty. The consistency should be smooth with no lumps. If it's looking too thick for you after the cheese has been added, stir in a little more broth or water to thin it out (I like mine thinner) and serve immediately. 

If you like, you can add some chopped fresh parsley or chives for some pretty colour; I just didn't have any. This recipe is bound to pop up again because there's so many variations I want to try, like...a baked chorizo, egg and polenta breakfast skillet...coming soon! (ish)

Lekker: Beef Short Rib Ragu

Did you know that the plural of "beef" is BEEVES??? I AM SERIOUS.

Now that that's out of the way, hi! I'm back, tonight with a beef short rib ragu done in the slow cooker than is the absolute definition of comfort food. Turned out to be quite serendipitous that it's snowing like hell here tonight, which somehow justifies "comfort food" even more. It does, though! I'm not even mad about it anymore; it's March 16th (ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME IT IS SPRING BREAK IN MOST PLACES RIGHT NOW OMFGGGGGG) and I've just resigned myself to the fate of living in an icy tundra for the rest of my days.

Anyways. I enjoyed this recipe tonight with my roommates Badger and Bear whilst listening to them bicker about their viability as an Amazing Race team. Kids, let me take all the mystery out of that one for you: one of you is coming home in a body bag.

 Tastes so much better than it looks, I promise!

Short Rib Ragu
serves 4

What You Need
3 pounds beef short ribs, cut into 3-inch pieces (It's unlikely you'll find this kind of thing in your usual grocer; I suggest you find a local butcher who will not only have this cut but will be happy to cut it to the correct specifications as well.)
Preferred oil for frying (canola, vegetable, clarified butter/ghee, etc)
1 large carrot, peeled, halved lengthwise and sliced into 1-inch pieces
1 celery rib, halved lengthwise and sliced into 1-inch pieces
1 medium onion, diced roughly
3 cloves garlic, simply crushed with the flat blade of your knife
1/2 cup red wine (Anything non-sweet that you have on hand will do: Pinot Noir, Merlot, Cab Sav)
1 28-ounce tin whole tomatoes in juice
6-8 stalks fresh oregano
S & P to taste

Serve over these delicious mashed potatoes, though go easy on the half-and-half--you want these to be able to stand up as a sturdy base to the ragu, so you don't want them to be too creamy or soft.

What You Do

1. In a large cast iron or stainless steel skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Sear off the short ribs, working in small batches so as not to crowd the pan (because that's the quickest way to get things steaming instead of frying, no bueno), until well-browned and nicely crusted on both sides. Transfer to a plate and keep working until all the ribs are done.
2. Pour off any excessive fat in the pan, leaving only about a tablespoon. Add the carrot, celery, onion and garlic and turn the heat down to medium-low. Cook, stirring, for about 2 minutes just until the carrots brighten in colour. Add the red wine and stir, scraping up any browned bits left over from the beef. Cook over medium heat until the red wine is mostly absorbed, then remove from heat.
3. Toss the beef and veggies together in a 5-6 quart slow cooker and add the can of tomatoes, breaking up with your hands as you go. (Careful--it's fun squishing them, but they squirt all over the place!) Sprinkle in 4 stalks of fresh oregano and add salt and pepper. Cover, and cook on High for 6 hours.

4. Hollaaaaaa! All done? Okay, if you're ready to eat then get those mashed potatoes going. While they're boiling, you'll want to remove the bones from the slow cooker (the meat should be so tender by now that they're easy to just pick up and remove) and shred the remaining meat with two forks. Add the remaining fresh oregano (fresh herbs lose their power during long cooking so you'll want to boost it up) and taste, adding salt and pepper as necessary. Remember that you're dealing with both beef and tomatoes here, both ingredients that simply cry out to be seasoned with salt.
5. Serve over a pillow of mashed potatoes and a glass of red wine. Hey, you opened a bottle to reduce those vegetables, didn't you? May as well. :)

Lekker: Perfect Mashed Potatoes

I'm going to cut straight to the chase here: I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SECRET TO PERFECT MASHED POTATOES. 

Ready?

It's baking powder. Wut.

The few people to whom I have divulged this secret thus far have greeted me with skepticism, confusion, and befuddlement. Yes. I know. It's totally weird. Nonetheless, somehow I found myself on this webpage the other day featuring an old recipe for "French Mashed Potatoes" from a Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook that does in fact call for one teaspoon of baking powder. I couldn't wait to give it a try, to see if this really WAS the Holy Grail of mashed potatoes, for my dinner last night of Bangers 'n Mash with Bacon Braised Collard Greens (recipe for that coming soon).

The verdict: yes, it really does make a difference. Yes, they really were fluffy clouds of comfort food. And ya know, I know this is legit, because I didn't do anything else differently this time except adding the teaspoon of baking powder! I'm curious to know how it works, because baking powder is a chemical leavener that contains both the acid and the base required to create a release of CO2 gases that then create that fluffiness, but you'd think that potatoes wouldn't have enough "liquid" in order to make proper use of that theory...hmm. In doing some research on the topic this morning, I stumbled across this hilarious thread of people fighting about mashed potatoes on the Internet. Because apparently that's a thing that people do. I can only assume that it ended with the brandishing of beaters at the computer screen.

Anyway, what follows is what I have defined as my go-to, do-it-in-my-sleep classic mashed potatoes recipe. I've included options at the end for ways to change it up, as well as my just-as-delicious dairy-free version, but if you've yet to master this beloved side dish give it a shot!

Alright well fine they don't look as good as they taste here but we've already established I suck at photography and besides food is for eating anyway. So just...eat it.

Perfect Mashed Potatoes
serves 4

What You Need
4-6 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled (The type of potato you use *IS* important! Don't just go picking up any bag, and don't assume that Russet potatoes are the gold standard. They are not. Gold potatoes are the gold standard. No but seriously, certain potatoes are better suited for certain purposes according to their "waxiness": hardy red skinned potatoes typically hold up well for potato salad but make a very starchy and heavy mashed potato; Russet potatoes are excellent for baking; and Yukon Gold [or other "gold"] potatoes are the creme de la creme for whipping into mashed potatoes.)
4 T salted butter
1/3 cup light cream
1 teaspoon baking powder (powder, not soda)
1/2 teaspoon salt
Dash of ground black pepper

What You Do
1. Peel and dice your potatoes into chunks about 1/2 inches big. Doesn't have to be scientific, just try to get them all a similar size. Dump them into a medium sized pot and cover with cold water, salting the water well. Bring to a boil, then down to a simmer for about 20 minutes or until the potatoes are fork tender. Try not to let them overcook to the point where they're falling apart in the water, as they become waterlogged and soggy that way.

2. Once the potatoes are done, drain them well of water and add the butter, cream, baking powder, salt, and pepper. Beat with a hand mixer for only about 2 minutes or until well beaten and fluffed. If you don't have a hand mixer, mash them up as best you can with a potato masher and then whip vigorously with a whisk. It's a good arm workout. Ta-dah! You're done!

 There are a zillion ways to jazz up your mashed potatoes if you're bored of the classics:

• Boil the potatoes in chicken broth or stock instead of plain water.
• Beat in some snipped fresh chives or spring onions to add colour.
• Make indulgent cheesy mashed potatoes by adding half a cup (or more lol) of shaved Parmesan or cheddar cheese.
• Crispy bacon pieces on top. Duh.
• For tangy Southern potatoes, switch in buttermilk in place of the light cream.  
• Stir in some oven roasted garlic for garlic mashed potatoes. Instructions for how to roast garlic can be found in my previous blog entry for Roasted Tomato Garam Masala Soup.
• To make dairy free mashed potatoes, use Earth Balance "butter" in place of regular butter and swap out original coconut milk (NOT flavoured obviously) for the light cream.

Lekker: Slow Cooker Red Beans & Rice

So with all my salads and lean soups I've been having here lately I began craving some protein, especially since I'm back to my regular workouts at the gym and gotta feed those muscles! (Hah. Hah.) Beans are awesome because when combined with brown rice they're a great complete source of protein (although this recipe amps things up by adding sausage, because yum) and they're inexpensive and easy to prepare. Plus, I was feeling hella lazy and wanted to put my slow cooker to work overnight so I would have a yummy meal ready to take to work and share with a hard-pressed coworker. Wins, all around!

With this much protein and fiber to fill you up in one bowl, you don't need much to be satisfied--perfect for sticking to that New Year's diet and still indulge in some bangin' comfort food.

Slow Cooker Red Beans & Rice

What You Need

1 1/2 pounds smoked pork sausage, preferably andouille (don't be a lazy ass, just look at the packages there, I'm sure you'll find some; just make sure it's smoked and not raw)

1 green bell pepper, diced

1 medium onion, diced

4 celery stalks, diced (we're going for equal proportions here, see?)

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 T Creole seasoning (Tony Chachere's rules the roost in my house)

1 pound dry red beans, picked over for debris and rinsed in a strainer

6 cups low sodium chicken broth (sausage has enough salt guys)

2 bay leaves

Hot cooked BROWN OR MIXED WILD rice, to serve (Quit it with that flavourless white shit, it's boring and bad for you and brown rice has way more flavour and fiber. These days there are zillions of "cooks in 90 seconds" microwavable bags to choose from.)

This is so easy it's stupid.

What You Do

1. Slice the sausages lengthways down the middle, then crossways into little half-moons. Fry in just a touch of oil over medium heat in a large skillet until well browned, then scoop aside onto a paper towel lined plate to drain. In the residual sausage drippings, fry up the bell pepper, onions, celery and garlic until just lightly soft and golden.

2. Throw everything into the slow cooker, stir, and cook on high for 6 hours or on low for 8. Good luck swallowing all the saliva you'll be drowning in as your kitchen smells better and better and better. Don't worry about the liquid content until the very end. If it's too watery for you, just crush up some of the beans with a potato masher to act as a thickener. Voila! Serve over hot cooked rice.