Liquor: The Dirty Drunk Girl Scout

I'm not exactly sure what to call this drink. Most of you will recognise it as the Dirty Girl Scout, but that involves Creme de Menthe and Bailey's Irish Cream, neither of which I happened to have on Sunday. What's a girl to do when she's determined to drink her dessert? Improvise! (Drunkenness is the mother of invention, right? That's how the saying goes?) That's why THIS little recipe calls for similar but different ingredients and I get to switch up the title. Figures that it becomes even more inappropriate that way, but whatever.

Beware: this drink is SWEET, much sweeter than I will ever be. These days I just want my Maker's Mark on the rocks, but when you're craving dessert and are fresh out of Thin Mints or anything else that's minty and chocolately and indulgent and delicious...well, this kind of thing happens. Join me, ladies. Your PMS will thank me later.

It's almost like a grown up milkshake? That's awesome. If you want to be fancy you can garnish with a sprig of mint, which I also, sadly, did not have on hand. Foodie problems yo.

What You Need
makes 1 cocktail

2 ounces vodka
1.5 ounces white chocolate liqueur  (I used Godiva)
1 ounce peppermint schnapps (I used what I had leftover from Christmas, but I was told by my buddy Monkey Boy to definitely try it with Rumple Minze next time for an extra kick. Meow.)
1 ounce Kahlua

What You Do

1. Easy, peasy, pudding & pie. Shake all in a cocktail shaker over ice for 30 seconds and serve, again over ice. Garnish with fresh mint if you wish, or a cookie on the side if you are REALLY suffering.


You may notice that's not your average ice cube floating there. In fact, a few weeks ago the folks over at Arctic Chill asked me if they could send me some free stuff to test , and of course the only sane answer to that question is "HELL YES!" They sent me a four-pack of these badass Ice Ball Makers and I've been messing around with them ever since. They're round, BPA-free (or so they say; I couldn't find mention of this anywhere on the box...something to think about, Arctic Chill!) silicon moulds that look like this:

 

All you do is connect the two pieces together and fill with water. Water expands as it freezes, of course, so the two pieces separate a bit but nothing crazy, and out easily pops an ice ball like this:

They melt so much slower than regular ice cubes, making them perfect for drinks on the rocks (my roommate Bear raves over these for his whiskey on the rocks) or drinks you want to keep cold without diluting terribly, just like the Dirty Girl Scout. No one likes watery cream drinks. At $20 for a 4-pack from Amazon I think they're definitely a worthy investment for your liquor cabinet. I'm going to be experimenting with them in the spring, filling them with water that's been boiled and cooled to yield a clear ice ball instead of a murky one, and possibly studding them with frozen fruit or edible flowers. You know, girly shit.

Cheers!

Lekker: Grilled Bananas with Chocolate & Peanut Butter Sauce

I am not a HUGE dessert person. I used to be, used to have a huge sweet tooth just like my Dad for cake, brownies, cookies, the works. I *had* to have a bite of something sweet after dinner. I'm not sure if I've grown out of it as my taste buds have matured, or if I simply have more control over myself (that'd be a first) or if I just subconsciously make up for lost time when I'm PMSing (likeliest scenario.) However, there's just something about the classic flavour combination of bananas and chocolate I've always loved, and in my "younger years" that meant spooning Nutella on top of a banana and calling it dessert. I'm certainly not above that now, but I desperately try to keep Nutella out of the house so that when I DO succumb to a chocolate craving, it's not half-a-jar's worth via spoon, in classic white girl style.

Too bad I discovered chocolate sauce on my most recent "cravings hunt" through the pantry.  DAMMIT! Curse you, PMS.

Since I am participating in this societal farce of pretending to be an actual sophisticated grown up, I decided to put a minute bit of effort into making my dessert this night. I think it took me all of 7 minutes to put together, and the simple act of grilling the bananas and whipping up an easy peanut butter sauce elevated these humble ingredients to something I would totally serve to guests. Have you ever smelled a grilled banana? It's incredible. The natural sugars in the fruit become carmelised over the high heat and become so sweet and delicious I could happily eat them plain--did, often, as a child, though sometimes with some brown sugar sprinkled o'er top--but given my aforementioned "condition"...these were doused in chocolate.

Grilled Bananas with Chocolate & Peanut Butter Sauce

What You Need
It's easy to duplicate this recipe for multiple people if you use your head; I've written it as if you are #foreveralone/saucily-single-by-choice (however you'd like to rationalise *that* on any given day) like me, and/or just extremely selfish over your dessert...also like me.

1 banana
A small schmear of butter, salted or unsalted, whatever spread you normally use (I use Earth Balance, which I am batshit crazy about because it's the best non-dairy spread I've ever tried that is not full of scientific synthetic garbage...but that is the topic for a different rant-y blog post)
1 T creamy peanut butter
~1/2 tablespoon milk, cream, or half-and-half, whatever you have on hand, hell I don't care if you use coffee creamer
1 T chocolate syrup (HAHAHA let's be real here, if you're PMSing you know it's going to be more)

What You Do
1. Ready? Okidoke, so if you're like me and it's about as cold as my bitter frozen heart outside (that's 30 degrees, to be exact) there's no grilling going on because you're not insane. Instead, you have a grill pan inside, (which everyone should have, they are awesome!) usually a cast iron skillet with little grill-like thingies on the bottom. I don't know the technical term for it. "Grill ridges"? Just look at the picture in a second! Heat that sucker up over medium high heat.

2. Slice your banana down the middle, lengthwise, leaving the peel on. Butter the cut sides a bit. Press them facedown onto the hot grill pan and let them sizzle for a few minutes.

3. Meanwhile, in a teeny bowl whisk together the peanut butter and whatever dairy mixer you chose to make a sauce. Adjust the amount of dairy depending on how thick or thin you want your sauce to be. This is totally your show. It's nice to be in control of things, isn't it?

4. Rotate the bananas a bit so you can get some appeeling (hahahaha) alternating grill marks on the bananas for a few more minutes.

When they're ready, flip them over and grill peel side DOWN for just about a minute. Transfer to a plate and drizzle your peanut butter sauce and chocolate sauce all over, and CHOW DOWN on those bad boys.

Then, if you're like me, immediately get up and make another serving.